GREAT QUOTES FROM - HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE - BY DALE CARNEGIE - PART.3

 

QUOTES FROM

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

BY DALE CARNEGIE

 

PART.3

Contd... from Part.2

103. If you must find fault, this is the way : Begin by praising.

104. It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points. So, begin with praise and honest appreciation.

105. Call attention to people's faults indirectly. without giving offense or arousing resentment.

106. Talk about your own mistakes first. And the mistakes of others after that only.

107. Ask questions - instead of giving direct orders. No one likes to take orders.

108. Let the other man save his face.

109. Praise even the slightest improvement in others. And praise every improvement. That inspires the other fellow to keep on improving.

110. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.

111. Compared with what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly, the human individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use.

112. Shakespeare said - Assume a virtue if you have it not.

113. Samuel Vauclain said - The average man can be led readily if you have his respect and if you show him that you respect him for some kind of ability.

114. Old saying : Give a Dog a bad name and you may as well hang him. But give him a  good name - and see what happens.

115. Almost everyone- rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief - lives upto the reputation of honesty that is bestowed upon him.

116. Give a man a fine reputation to live upto.

117. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

118. Use encouragement. Make the fault you want to correct seem easy to correct; make the thing you want the other person to do seem easy to do.

119. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest - if you want to change people without arousing resentment.

120. Remember, we all crave appreciation and recognition, and will do almost anything to get it. But nobody wants insincerity. Nobody wants flattery

121. If you want to keep your home life happy, Rule.1 is - Don't, don't nag.

122. One of the chief reasons men leave home is because their wives nag. As the Boston Post put it, Many a wife has made her own marital grave with a series of little digs.

123. Disraeli said - I may commit many follies in life, but I never intended to marry for love. Henry James puts it - " the first thing to learn in intercourse with others is non-interference with their own peculiar ways of being happy, provided those ways do not assume to interfere by violence with ours.

124. If you want to keep your home life happy, rule is : Don't criticize; Give honest appreciation

125. Trivialities are at the bottom of most marital unhappiness. Such a simple thing as wife's waving good-by to her husband when he goes to work in the morning would avert a good many divorces. Too many men (and women)  underestimate the value of these small, every day attentions

126. If young wives would only be as courteous to their husbands as to strangers! Any man will run from shrewish tongue.

127. Rudeness is the cancer that devours love. Everyone knows this, yet it is notorious that we are more polite to strangers than we are to our relatives.

128. It is an amazing but true thing that practically, the only people who ever say mean, insulting, wounding things to us are those of our own households.

129. Be courteous always (to  your spouse)

130.Dr.Popenoe lists the four causes of (Marital) failure in this order : (1) Sexual maladjustment. (2) Difference of opinion as to the way of spending leisure time (3) Financial difficulties (4) Mental, physical or emotional abnormalities. Another  Judge says - nine out of ten divorces are caused by sexual troubles.

131. So, the rule 7 of how to make your home life happier is : Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage

132. The 7 rules for making your home life happier are (1) Don't nag (2) Don't try to make your partner over (3) Don't criticize (4) Give honest appreciation (5) Pay little attentions (6) Be courteous (7) Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage

133.Emmet Crozier's questionnaire on - why marriages go wrong. Yes - for each question gives you 10 points :

For Husbands :

a. Do you still court your wife with an occssional gift of flowers, with remembrances of her birthday and wedding anniversary, or with some unexpected attention, some unlooked for tenderness?

b. Are you careful never to  criticize her before others?

c. Do you give her money to spend entirely as she chooses, above the household expenses?

d. Do you make an effort to understand her varying faminine moods and help her through periods of fatigue, nerves and irritability?

e. Do you share at least half of your recreation hours with your wife?

f. Do you tactfully refrain from comparing your wife's cooking or housekeeping with that of your mother or of some XYZ's wife, except to her advantage?

g. Do you take a definite interest in her intellectual life, her clubs and societies, the books she reads, her views on civic problems?

h. Can you let her dance with and receive friendly attentions from other men without making jealous remarks?

i. Do you keep alert for opportunities to praise her and express your admiration for her?

j. Do you thank her for the little jobs she does for you, such as sewing on a button, darning your socks and sending your clothes to the cleaners?

FOR WIVES

a. Do you give your husband complete freedom in his business affairs, and do you refrain from criticizing his, his associates, his choice of a secretary or the hours he keeps?

b. Do you try your best to make your home interesting and attractive?

c. Do you vary the household menu so that he never knows quite what to expect when he sits down to the table?

d. Do you have an intelligent grasp of your husband's business so you can discuss it with him helpfully?

e. Can you meet financial reverses bravely, cheerfully without criticizing your husband his mistakes or comparing him with more successful men unfavourably?

f. Do you make a special effort to get along amiably with his mother or other relatives?

g. Do you dress with an eye for your husband's likes and dislikes in colour and style?

h. Do you compromise little differences of opinion in the interest of harmony.

i. Do you make an effort to learn games your husband likes, so you can share his leisure hours?

j. Do you keep track of the  day's news, the new books and new ideas, so you can hold your husband's intellectual interest?