RANDY PAUSCH
THE TIME MANAGEMENT EXPERT
WITH A DIFFERENCE (POST.2)
In Post.1,
(http://wiselivingideas.blogspot.com/2010/12/randy-pausch-time-management-expert.html )
we saw how Randy lived his last few months of life so well and happily, and how he contributed to others during that time too. We also saw the basics of time management.
Let’s now see a few beautiful quotes of Randy Pausch : Randy’s thoughts are given in bold and italics. The rest is – my comments.
1.
‘Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.’ Either you get what you want; or, you get good experience. The key issue here is – you do want some thing – which means you have a goal. Do you have or don’t you? Now, you must plan for achieving it. If you achieve, your planning is good. If you don’t, you plan has chinks. Find them… Plug them... Try again. In that order.
2. ‘The Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because, the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people.’ Goal achievement is an obstacle race. Some fall at the first obstacle. Others get up and go ahead. Some fall before the last obstacle too. Winning is going beyond the last obstacle. As you can see, it requires persistence. As Stephen covey says, it also requires sharpening of the saw. You must sharpen your existing skill set and acquire additional skills.
3. ‘If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.’ Karma is interpreted both as action and as the result of action. Action is yours. It is you who decides what you do; how you lead your life. Result of your actions is however given to you by the forces of the universe. You are the GIVER or the DOER in respect of your ACTIONS. YOU are the RECEIVER in respect of the RESULTS. Be very clear that RESULTS are not decided by you but by the Universal Laws or the Universal forces, as the Karma theory calls them. But, the results, as appropriate to your actions – will come to you, without an iota of doubt. If they are not what you expected, your expectation is wrong, not the result. If we get a cancer or cold, the simple fact is, we do not (yet) understand the universal laws governing them and we are not abiding by them. The Karma theory is never wrong; we are.
4. ‘When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.’ Romantic people who are interested in you may not know what to say, but they do express their love in their actions. Romance is more emotion and less intelligence. Actions speak louder than words in love and romance. Don’t we know that? We do. After some time, if actions stop, words may become a substitute for them. Words may supplement but should not substitute romantic actions. Beware of that. It is time to replenish the love and the romance.
5. Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other. Gratitude, like love, requires expression. Express gratitude freely. Wherever possible, do some thing in return; and do it unexpectedly. More important, do something good to others; things for which, you feel gratitude, when you are the receiver.
6. ‘Look, I'm going to find a way to be happy, and I'd really love to be happy with you, but if I can't be happy with you, then I'll find a way to be happy without you.’ Your life – is the only thing given to you; and it is given to you to live well; to love well; and to be happy. Find a way to be happy. Always.
7. ‘A lot of people want a shortcut. I find the best shortcut is the long way, which is basically two words: work hard.’ There are no short cuts. The tree takes its time to grow. You take your time to grow. Every thing takes its time. But, the short cut is – the tree can die before it grows. You can, too. Short cuts are therefore unsatisfactory answers.
8. ‘The questions are always more important than the answers.’ The questions are – what are you goals; Your priority things; and, how to achieve them. Unless you ask the right questions, there is no way, you can lay the best path for your life. Questions are more important.
9. ‘It's not how hard you hit. It's how hard you get hit...and keep moving forward.’ You do get hit; don’t you? It’s life. Get up and move on.
10. ‘When we're connected to others, we become better people.’ You rarely understand yourself, unless you try to understand others around you. They are your mirror. They reflect you most of the time. You learn to live, by interaction with them.
11. ‘No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse.’ And, we do, by our omissions and commissions. Ignore the good man or the bad man, the world becomes worse. Ignore the good things or the bad things in you, you become worse.
12. ‘When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody's bothering to tell you anymore, that's a bad place to be. You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better.’ Invite criticism. You are erring. All the time. To err, is human. Where are you erring, is the question. You may never know, unless you ask people to tell you.
13. ‘A good apology is like antibiotic, a bad apology is like rubbing salt in the wound.’ When did you apologize last? Don’t remember? That’s bad apology; May be, several apologies are Overdue by now.
14. ‘You can always change your plan, but only if you have one.’ It’s now a cliché. But, it is a fact that, even now, over ninety percent of people don’t have a plan. Are you one among the Ninety odd percent?
15. ‘One thing that makes it possible to be an optimist is if you have a contingency plan for when all hell breaks loose.’ This is plan B. Most people don’t have plan A. They are over Ninety odd percent. Of the balance 10 percent or less, most people don’t have Plan B. Plan B must be as good as Plan A. It’s good sermon right now. But, if people come to have a plan A, it is easier to teach them to have Plan B.
16. ‘I’ve never understood pity and self-pity as an emotion. We have a finite amount of time. Whether short or long, it doesn’t matter. Life is to be lived.’ In Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna says almost derisively that the person who is going to die tomorrow is weeping profusely for the fellow who is dying today. All of us are going. No one is staying back. The final reason for going may be different for each person. But go, we must and we all will. So, why pity or self pity? Life has to be lived. Lived well.
17. ‘We've placed a lot of emphasis in this country on the idea of people's rights. That's how it should be, but it makes no sense to talk about rights without also talking about responsibilities.’ In India too, we have followed the same example as in USA. The results, in my opinion, are not good at all. More and more people are infringing others’ rights now than ever before. Not many think of others’ rights. There are very few people who are conscious of their responsibilities. The Child’s rights are, by direct correlation, the parents’ responsibilities. The parents are becoming oblivious to their responsibilities towards their own children. Who will then implement the child’s rights? My rights are your responsibilities and your rights are my responsibilities. There is a direct correlation between rights and responsibilities. No Nation can afford to talk of rights only and not talk of responsibilities. Between Nations too, it is the same thing. We are where we are – because we are not talking of our responsibilities.
18. ‘There's a lot of talk these days about giving children self-esteem. It's not something you can give; it's something they have to build. Coach Graham worked in a no-coddling zone. Self-esteem? He knew there was really only one way to teach kids how to develop it: You give them something they can't do, they work hard until they find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process.’ Yes. Give them tasks. Give them progressively tougher tasks. Make them succeed on their own. You can’t make their life too easy and yet, make them competent. Children can learn. Do not underestimate them because of their parents’ background or any other reason. In India, governments want to abolish exams. May be, some other countries also have some such plans. It’s not at all the right thing to do. Give Children progressively tougher tasks, in which they can succeed with progressively more effort. If they don’t succeed in any task, no matter. Give them a few days more. They will. But, abolishing exams, abolishing tough tasks for them, and similar measures makes them dull and unprepared for life.
19. ‘The person who failed often knows how to avoid future failures.’ Strive often..fail often.. succeed often.. these three come one after another.. You must strive often… to fail often. You must fail often.. to succeed often.. If you did not fail at all, it implies, you did not strive at all.. and you did not succeed at all too..To learn walking, the child must get up and fall. It doesn’t matter if it falls a few times. It is a matter of great concern if the child doesn’t get up and try to walk, in the fear of falling. No child is ashamed to fall. Neither should you. This precept is in fact a continuation of the previous one. Allow the children to take upon them all sorts of tasks. All sorts of exams. Do not shame them, if they fail. Encourage them. Give them the same task again, or, one they can succeed in. Build them. Do not weaken them.
20. ‘There are more ways than one to measure profits and losses.’ Suppose, you spent $1,00,000/- and your spouse’s / Children’s health became much better thereby – how do you measure your profits and losses? Have you lost $1,00,000 or gained your spouse’s / children’s health? Which one will be on your mind more often? Suppose, it is your own health that is in question – then how will you view it?
21. ‘It's not helpful if we spend every day dreading tomorrow, Jai.’ It was Randy and his wife Jai. If you feel you have very less of life left, people around may feel this way. It happens. Suppose you are going away to a far off country for a long time, then also, people who love you may feel the same way. In India, yoga is developed as the science which strives to unite you with your essential you, the deathless you. There is no death for you. There is no going anywhere. Lord Krishna says very clearly, that death is as simple as taking off your dirty, worn out clothes and putting on new ones. There is no need to dread death at all. He says, the difference between you and him is – he knows all his past and you and I don’t. Death is a wall you don’t see beyond. You are not allowed. But, there is nothing very fearsome the other side. If you live this side of your life well, the other side becomes more beautiful than life here. It is Karma theory and is very simple and absolutely scientific.
22. ‘I don't believe in the no-win scenario.’ Ha, there is no no-win scenarios any where. Either you win. Or, some one wins. You also either win or gain experience. Either way, it is still a win for you. If you are a parent teaching your child, you lose, to make the child win and thereby, you also win. Look for the positive. You will find it. Now, this formula is not exclusive. It works in combination with all the rest that we have seen earlier. Some one asked a lazy man sleeping under a tree – why don’t you do some work and progress in life? The lazy man asked, what will I do, after doing some work and progressing in life. Then you can marry, have children? …Yeah, what will I do then?... Your children will grow and progress in life… Yeah, what will I do then?.. then, you can relax and enjoy your life…. But, that’s what I am doing already.. why should I work, progress, marry, have children…
Well. Life has many angles. Life can be very Beautiful. Our today makes our tomorrow more beautiful. Our yesterday has made today, the way, it is. Randy lived a full life; the number of years are immaterial. Thank you, Randy. For all these beautiful thoughts.
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