STEPHEN R COVEY
FIRST THINGS FIRST
Stephen R. Covey is the author of the best-selling book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Among his other books, First Things First is considered to give a brand new direction to the TIME MANAGEMENT science and literature.
First Things First highlights a new and very practical approach to the creation of a goal centered, practical, principle-centered, satisfying life style. Here is a brief review of Stephen R Covey’s ideas in First Things First with a few of my views on the same.
4 things matter most in our lives. These are: (i) To live (ii) to love (iii) to learn and (iv) to leave a legacy
To Live – we need to satisfy our basic needs of life like Food, water, clothing, shelter, job, profession etc. These are our basic physiological needs for subsistence, comforts and luxuries.
To Love – we need People whom we love and people who loves us. A Love-less life is usually highly dissatisfying. This is essential for our emotional well being. Approval of people is a huge plus in life. It is a social need.
To learn : Human Brain is the best computer there is. Craving for knowledge is inherent in us. Those who fail to satisfy this need can never have a satisfying life. We must be life-long learners. This is our intellectual need.
To leave a legacy : We want to contribute to the Society. We seek not only our welfare, but also other people’s welfare. We want people to remember us after we are gone, in a fond and affectionate manner. We want to leave behind us some thing that people will cherish. This is our spiritual need.
WHICH ONE FIRST : All these goals are important for all of us. But, do we really focus our attention and effort on all these four needs?
Why is it that many people do not even have their basic needs – and yet you find them lazy?
Why is it that some people are unable to like any one or get themselves liked by any one?
Why is it that many people learn almost nothing – in decades?
Why it that most people are not remembered by any one – after they are gone – even for a few days?
The answer is – these people are not putting their energies behind these four very important needs of their life. Why is it that there is no sufficient focus on the first things of life?
Some people do try, yet do not succeed in satisfying these four needs. Periodically, they experience frustration and guilt, even after using all known traditional methods.
Faster, Harder, Smarter – in doing things, is the traditional way. We may use planners, to do lists, and so on for doing things efficiently.
But, when we are busy earning money, unknowingly, we are breaking up our closest relationships. Or vice versa. We focus on one and fail in another. For many, this is the result. How many billionaires had broken up marriages, strained relationships with children and broken health? Many, as we know.
Many glamorous, popular persons suddenly fall sick and are in depression or even attempt suicide. On Stage, these very same persons look like Role models for us! Where lies their problem?
These 4 needs are not independent compartments of life but an indivisible whole. We must attend to all the four needs all the time, in an integrated manner.
There has to be a distinctly holistic, wholesome approach to life. We must listen to our heart and to our mind both. We must examine our life, our scripts, our motives, our habits, our first things, what they represent etc.
We must understand what is deeply important to us, what we really want to be, what really gives us satisfaction and what we are right now. We must see life, relationships, time, the world, our self differently and in an integrated manner.
Then, we can close the gap between what is deeply important to us and our life and the things on which we spend our time. Stephen R Covey talks of the importance of the compass, before we try to run our life by our clocks.
THE CLOCK AND THECOMPASS
A whole day goes in doing many things. A whole week also goes. At the end of the week, when we look back and analyze, we may not find any thing that has taken us one step forward towards the first things of our life. The spouse may be angry with us, children may be turning indifferent to us, society may be ignoring us, and we have nothing to show as RESULTS after a grinding week. If there is one good result in one area of life – it is usually at the cost of another area of life.
Do our ‘TO DO’ lists really include all those important activities at least on a weekly basis? If not, our ‘To DO’ lists and planners are dragging us towards the seemingly Urgent but unimportant things and away from the really important things.
Our TO DO LISTS and Planners seem to contain all the urgent things - all the good decisions and good actions that we must make or take urgently – and we can’t find any thing wrong with them. So, what is really wrong?
The enemy of the best is not the bad, but the good. The enemy of the important things in life is - the Urgent things in life! Too many good and urgent things are getting in our way and clouding our vision – and consequently, we are not able to see your IMPORTANT things at all.
Days and months and Years are going away. But, our FIRST THINGS, our most important things – are still crying for our much needed attention.
Our Life’s COMPASS must point towards our life’s true North – the really IMPORTANT THINGS and GOALS of our life. Our life’s clock – i.e., our TO DO LISTS, PLANNERS etc - must run according to the life’s compass. Life must set sail in its true north direction. Our TO DO lists MUST contain our IMPORTANT THINGS much, more often. But, if our clocks point in a direction away from our compass – life will pass, and at the end of it, there will be nothing to show!
The gap between the Compass and the Clock – is our real problem. We must close the Gap between the two. Our Life’s struggle is in this gap. When the Gap closes, there is no struggle.
Climb the ladder of success but put the ladder against the right wall.
Our deepest joy comes from our relationships that are truly transformational – but, we mostly treat such relationships merely as a set of transactions and miss the joy. We wake up when a crisis like divorce strikes.
Am, I doing the right things? This is the first question we must constantly ask. Next comes the question – am I doing these FIRST THINGS right.
URGENCY ADDICTION:
We do urgent things, but not important things. Urgency drives us. Urgency drags us into action and become our addiction. Important things giving richness to life – do not press into our life. We must press them into our life.
4 QUADRANTS
Covey divides all of our actions and motives into 4 quadrants.
Q1 (or) Upper Left Corner : This consists of actions which are BOTH URGENT & IMPORTANT. We must do them now. Else, there is an adverse result for us. Like - Handling a client; Helping a hurt child; attending to important official Deadlines, having your or spouse’s heart surgery; hospitalization and so on.;
They are challenges. They are important and also urgent. We must respond to them.
Q2 (or) Upper Right Corner : These are very important for us and our Life’s success but they do not seem Urgent. This consists of our essential goals of life.
What is that one activity (in each sphere of our life) which, if done superbly well and consistently – will have the greatest beneficial impact on the quality of your life? Think of these very deeply. Identify these activities – one for each sphere of life, very distinctly. Put them all Quadrant.2.
Developing your marital relationship, helping a struggling son, preparing for your Professional development, improving your health etc need proactive, long term preparation and hard work. By their very nature, they do not press on your time, like an urgent Phone call does. But, they are the ones having the maximum beneficial impact on your life. You must act on them.
Q3 (or) Lower Left Corner :
This is a Quadrant of deception. It contains tasks which are probably important for others, but not important for you. There is a big Noise of urgency around them – which creates false importance for them. Like Phone calls, visitors etc.
Most people are in Q3. Meeting other people’s priorities and expectations, postponing what is important for themselves.
Q4 (or) Lower Right Corner :
This is a Quadrant of wasteful activities. Watching mindless TV shows, Gossiping, reading detective novels and other time wasters come here. There are many people who are addicted to Q4 activities.
Reality of True North Principles.
Covey is against quick fixes. Quick fixes never give you true victories in life. The Law of the Farm governs life in general. The seed takes its own time to sprout and grow into a tree and give us fruits. It does not go for quick fixes by itself. It does not hurry through.
Nowhere in the nature do we see short cuts and quick fixes except in human life. Nature’s principles are healthy, time-less principles. If we also follow them, we create quality of life.
Short cuts, quick fixes, cramming in always leads to adverse effects in the long term.
You can’t cram in character, physical health or healthy marital relationship. They need methodical living. Marriage or any other relationship needs discipline and selflessness
Capacity of Four human endowments.
Covey talks of 4 human endowments, which distinguish us from other beings. They stand between what happens to us and how we react to them.
Self awareness : You can distinguish yourself from others. You can stand aside from your self and examine your self – your scripts, actions, habits etc.
Conscience : Your conscience connects you with the wisdom of the heart; of the ages; it is the Internal guidance system on when and how to act; our deep moral sense.
Independent will : It is our special capacity to act on principles, transcending our scripts and emotions; to be response-able; to exercise choice. Strengthen it by making and keeping small promises first and then bigger and bolder promises. Each time you make a promise and keep, your character, confidence and capability improves phenomenally. First keep promises made to yourself, which gives you your private victories. Follow it up by making promises to others and keeping them – which gives you your Public victories.
Creative imagination : It is our Power to envision a future state and create some thing in our mind; to solve problems in new ways – unknown in the past. We can see our self and others differently; You can create vision and mission statements for self, organizations etc; visualize them even in most challenging circumstances. Visualize each goal and its achievement and the process of achieving them – mentally, very vividly.
Keep A Personal Journal :It is a very high leverage Q2 activity; Write the causes and consequences happening in each aspect of your life; analyze them; see how you can visualize better methods, actions, techniques to achieve better results. You are the chooser of your actions.
The Q2 organizing process is as below:
Step.1 ; first connect with your vision and mission
What was it that made it possible for some to survive while others died in the worst of prisons. Victor Frankl who himself survived one such terrible prison terms made a very significant discovery.
The single most important factor that the survivors to live was – a sense of mission, a goal, an important thing to do. A compelling future oriented vision keeps all of us alive. Vision is the energy that gives our life its vitality. Transcend all fear, doubt etc in respect of your capabilities to achieve success.
Say, NO to the less important things in life, smilingly.
Solve all problems with creative imagination.
Step.2 : Identify your roles such as parental, official, religious, social and so on. We live our life in terms of our roles.
Roles represent responsibilities. You must balance ALL OF YOUR roles; Have them naturally blend; Work them together to accomplish your goals of life.
Sharpen the Saw:- Produce results in each role; but do not forget to sharpen the saw – Your Daily exercise; daily reading and listening. Developing your skills.
Our Deepest pain lies in – imbalance in role management; specially Work vs Family vs Other Relationships;
Focusing on one role to the exclusion of others is the problem. Our roles at home, work, in society are all interwoven; it is not either or.
The way we see the problem is the problem. There are no compartments. Life is one indivisible whole –all parts are a highly integrated, inter-related whole. This inter role synergy saves a lot of problems and energy. Build that synergy. Children, mother or career are not alternatives. Our roles are like Branches of a tree – with Common roots, common trunk etc.
Step.3 : Select Quadrant 2 Goals for each Role :
Ask yourself :-
What is the most important thing I can do in this role this weak, that has the greatest possible impact on my present and future life? This gives context to your week. Consult both heart and mind. Focus on important things not urgent things.
Select Just One goal for each role. The power of goals is enormous. Goal setting is based on Law of focus. Sun’s rays start a fire – but only when focused! Your attention When focused, achieved tremendous results.
Goals must emanate from principles – for qualitative success. Right goals, for right things and for right reasons.
Step 4 : Create a decision making frame work for the week
Create an Action plan; a frame work; Find time for all important activities.
Heart of the process is – organize on weekly basis; not on a daily basis. Daily perspective is – too close and too focused. Urgency will dominate; Weekly focus provides context easily for the entire week for your goals.
Know how to put the big stones of important things first into the Jar of your life. Then the small stones; then the sand, then the water, which represent progressively less important things.
That is how You use YOUR TIME!!
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