ACCEPTANCE MEDITATION - THE BEST STRESS BUSTER & PROBLEM SOLVER

LIFE

A HURDLES RACE

Life is a hurdles' race. 

We all face difficult situations and hurdles in life. Don't we?

It is as if, some one is always watching and placing these hurdles, one after another, in our path of life, deliberately. Some times, there is a gap of a few days, or a month. But soon, some problem, some thing unpleasant, some thing difficult to cope, comes up in life. It happens to everybody. From President Obama, to your next door neighbor. And to You.

Things are not always very pleasant nor do they come or go as you plan always.

EXPECT… THE UNEXPECTED…

Just observe critically what is happening in your life. Your life had always passed through and will always pass through difficult situations and hurdles periodically. It shall be so, till the last breath. Your first breath was also a traumatic situation, for you and your mother.

You did fall sick many times in your life; your spouse did; your children did; your parents did; The future too does not guarantee health to any of you at all times.

Your children may not read well. They may often get lesser marks than what you feel, your genes deserve. Your spouse may feel otherwise. Your children may marry the wrong person or  find unable to adjust in marriage. You are ageing. Children don’t want to be near you. They don’t care for you; it is very bothersome, despite all that you did to them. Any way, you are also not willing to stay with them.

Your spouse passes away. You find a vacuum.

PROBLEMS GALORE … ALL AROUND…

There are all sorts of such problems inside and outside the home.  Your team did a fantastic job last year. Yet, your company incurred losses. The management was awful. Customers had no sense. Salesmen should be fired. 

So many mistakes all around. But, your job is now at stake.

Your national economy is collapsing. A dangerous virus is spreading all across 

the continent and spreading fear and fever. It is now immune to the anti-biotic or virus-killer you got injected last time. You too are in the list of probables.

Problems are multiplying. Ice is meting; earth is heating up. Air is cracking up where it should not; And, no one really cares. Add to it terrorism. It is everywhere. Why do they kill and whom? It is not clear even to them. You read news papers and see TV. So, every day morning, world problems become your problems. They are a diversion from your problems. There are more causes for some to get more drunk.

Do you any clue, how and when any one of these problems will ever get solved?

At the minimum, your problems with your spouse and your spouse’s problems with you. How wonderful will life be if at least these two sets of problems are solved? But then, even these problems seem to defy any permanent solution. They are there forever.

EXPECT …THE UNEXPECTED…

God may make matches in heaven but man can certainly put them asunder right on earth. These are new man-made laws – apart from what God made.

But, God has been at work in recent past in modifying creation. He has introduced Gayism and Lesbianism which are spreading like …viruses or saviours. The latest revelation from the sky (Like in the  good ol’ days of scriptures) is that –  God no more makes man and woman as MADE FOR EACH OTHER. Not in all cases.

God has made not only these, but also meteors. He needs them when things get out of hand. There is no way of predicting when the next meteor will strike the earth. When it strikes earth at some place, People will understand that God is un-biased between religions, races and sexes.

I and you can go on and on but the point of all this is - you and I must  expect the unexpected.

More important, be prepared for the unexpected. But, aha, this in fact, is the Universal law we stumble upon, when we start examining human life with any seriousness. 

DIFFICULTY …AN INTEGRAL PART OF LIFE…

Difficult situations are an integral part of human life.

Please note that difficult situations, hurdles, problems etc are all used in this blog post interchangeably - just to encompass all of them.

Look at this phenomenon a little more closely. 

You find God is really, really, unbiased, in such things. It is not merely you, not merely humans, but No living being escapes difficult situations in life.

The law encompasses the lives of animals, birds, insects, viruses, bacteria and so on. 

It is a well settled universal law that difficult situations are an integral part of the life of all living beings.

If you are nor totally convinced of its universal applicability, it does not matter. It applies to YOU, for sure. You know it. You do need better ways to solve your problems or tackle your difficult situations. That is enough for our purpose. For your purpose.

CATEGORIZE…YOUR DIFFICULTIES..IT MIGHT HELP…

We need clarity. Clarity comes from categorizing. Can we categorize difficult situations in some way? We are going to categorize all human problems in varieties of ways in future Posts. But, for now, a simple categorization will do

(i)        The problem per se

(ii)      The perception per se

In any difficult situation, there are actually two difficult situations! One is, the actual, mostly external, difficult situation. The second is the internal difficult situation, in the form of our mental resistance to the external difficult situation.

Our mental strength and our mental resistance are inversely proportionate to each other. At any time, both exist in us, in some measure. Our mental strength is signified by our confidence and our willingness to tackle the difficult situation. Our mental resistance is represented by our diffidence and our unwillingness to face the same. We don't have one hundred percent of either, at any time of life. It is a paradox.

Why so? It is a most basic psychological problem – natural and universal. 

 

We just do not want any difficult situations and hurdles in life! We don’t want!!

But, contrary to our innate desire, difficulties are an integral part of our life.

Thus, ab-initio, we don’t have a willingness to go through such situations. We feel, they jeopardize our very survival. We recoil even at a mere threat of its arrival in our life. It is a serious psychological problem.

This is one fact we must acknowledge.  When the difficult situation arises, instantly, simultaneously, and some times, in advance of it, the mental resistance is ready in us, blocking our willingness and even our abilities from tackling the difficult situation.

Generally, we are conscious of the external difficult situation. But, we are not conscious of the internal difficult situation in the form of our mental resistance. The inner enemy creates more serious consequences than the external enemy.

The external situation has a certain limited amount of threat for our lives. In many situations, it can be gauged and quantified. Its magnitude can be known.

USING YOUR MAGNIFYING GLASS…

But our mental resistance becomes a magnifying glass. The more we look at the external problem through the magnifying glass of our inner mental resistance, two things happen. The problem begins to look bigger and bigger.

Second, the mental resistance grows stronger and stronger. It becomes a more powerful magnifying glass. The problem now looks even bigger than earlier. 

While external situation may be quantifiable and definable, internal situation defies all such quantification and definiteness.

The pain and the loss associated with the problem looks much deeper and darker now. Its spiraling effect continues. It some times makes us withdraw from tackling the problem altogether. It paralyzes and overwhelms the mind and body. This process continues till our unawareness of this process continues. Our Resistance obstructs our thinking skills and our problem solving skills.

There is one Universal law which comes into operation here.

“Negative thinking starts negative events.”

In recent years, a lot has been observed and written about the Law of Attraction. Your mind, through its Intense thought power, can attract and create events which it imagines. Repeated thoughts, positive or negative, send out signals into the universe, which somehow, manifests, what the mind wanted, or what it deserved because of its thoughts, in the first instance. 

In ancient Sanskrit scriptures, it is called SANKALPA SAKTHI. In modern idiom, it is called law of attraction. Positive thoughts can invite Positive events. Negative thoughts can invite negative events. Surely, Nature has its own intelligence and gives back events - not exactly what you think of, but what your thought power really deserves. 

Note : - This process can be seen  more deeply in my blog posts on KARMA YOGA in www.wisespiritualideas.blogspot.com. 

Abilities coupled with  positive thoughts can invite positive events and positive solutions.

Mental resistance, real and assumed weaknesses and negative thoughts can and do invite negative events and problems.

Some of the strong negative thoughts, repeated often, thus, become self fulfilling prophecy. 

WHY STRESSED…

Forget about the external difficult situation for a while. Our negative thoughts and mental resistance create in us  huge amount of stress. This stress further  leads us to all the stress related problems and illnesses of the body and mind.

This Stress and its consequent illnessses are not generated by the difficult situation – but by our inner resistance to the difficult situation. More than the difficult situation, the illnesses and the stress now become the bigger and more serious difficult situation.

Some times, the damage that is inflicted by these are irreversible and last long after the original difficult situation has vanished.

Now that there is some clarity about the totality of the events associated with a difficult situation, we must tackle the problem in a proper perspective.

Our internal resistance is - (1) generating magnified images of the problem (2) obstructing our skills and abilities to tackle the problem, (3) generating and circulating negative thoughts with spiralling effect, each becoming bigger and bigger (4) creating stress and its associated problems and illnesses.

BRING THE OPPOSITE …

Ancient saints have given very simple solution to the problem. If darkness is the problem, bring its opposite, the light, which solves the problem. Any amount of fighting with or opposing darkness is not going to remove darkness. Bring its opposite, the light, and darkness goes automatically.

For any problem, bring its opposite, to solve the problem. An imaginative application of this universal law works wonderfully in many cases.

If unwillingness is the problem - generate huge reservoirs of willingness consciously. You mind can do this. Tell your self, that life is made for facing difficult situations. Each such effort is a challenge and actually strengthens you for facing life more joyfully.

In the light of all the above, look at the problems of life closely. 

LIFE GIVER ... PROBLEM GIVER…

Whoever has given you life has given you the problems too. This is the stark fact of life. Remember this always.

Repeat it to yourself. You do pray to your creator to save you from the problem. Every church, temple etc are intended for that. But then, you are doubting HIS intelligence, his very purpose of giving these problems to you. Can you accept life and deny the problems? These are all needed for life. 

Whenever a problem comes, remember your child’s first day at school. How much your child would have cried? That was its resistance to face the problem. It was a great opportunity for the child to grow. But, from the child’s view point, it looked as the biggest problem of its life! It was so with every problem it faced later.

PROBLEM …  TO STRENGTHEN YOU…

I repeat, and please bear with the repetition, who ever has given you life, has given you all the problems – with a good purpose, to strengthen your life.  

You were the problem to the child; you were the solution to the child. All, it needed was your love, encouragement, a little push and an assurance. Give these to your self now. Get them from wherever you can. But, chiefly, let it come from within you - from that place, where the source of your mental resistance is. It is there, that the source of your strength is! The source of the problem is itself the source of the solution. You will find pleasantly that you are able to generate all these within you in most cases.

ACCEPTANCE MEDITATION…

This process is called acceptance meditation. Meditate to accept the problems as God-given for your benefit. Meditate to find solutions. Practice this meditation cheerfully and regularly, to neutralize your mental resistance. Practice it more when there is likelihood of a difficult situation in near future. Practice it much more when you are actually facing a difficult situation. Never create phantoms of stress. Never exaggerate. Never attempt justifications for failing or withdrawing. 

Know that you can…

Tell your self frequently that you can. Tell yourself that you are willing cheerfully to accept all consequences and you know that they are strengthening you. Imagine having come out of the problem in flying colours. Imagine using all of your skills, abilities and strength for the purpose. Do it as meditation, even using a meditative posture - with all the calmness and relaxed mood you are capable of.

THREE THINGS…TO ACCEPT…

We are accepting three things here. 

First, we are accepting the fact that difficult situations are an integral part of human life. These are in the nature of a blessing. Remember Helen Keller, Beethoven and many other successful persons whose life to us may, even today look like a very difficult life. But to them, it was an enjoyable life. Think of how Helen Keller enjoyed her life. Enjoy your life better than her. It is in the attitude you don.

Second, we are accepting the fact that these problems are given to strengthen and enrich our life by the way we face them. We are willing to practice the acceptance meditation each day of our life. It truly brings great peace and joy in life. And, it is simple.

Third, whoever has given us the life and its associated problems has also given us inherent abilities to face them. Bring them out as your weaponry. Every difficulty passes away. How many difficult situations have passed so far in our life? This too will pass. This - includes death also.

There is no need to be afraid of death. It has its purpose in creation. Do not look at death or any such inevitable situation as a painful situation. One saint says, birth was not in your hands to enjoy. But death is. Some of the modern experiments also confirm that death, per se, is not really painful. It can be very calm, peaceful and enjoyable. Be prepared fully to meet and enjoy the same.

Who ever has given the problems to you is watching you intensely. He is encouraging you. He is sympathetic to your failures. He is on your side. Feel that intensely in your acceptance meditation. He wants you to succeed. Be conscious of that. No failure is a failure when you realize that your life giver is with you all the way.

AN INSPIRING GURU…

I have drawn great inspiration and practical benefit from Swami Paramarthananda's lectures on SPIRITUALITY, and on many special topics like the one we have discussed. I have drawn particular inspiration from a special lecture of his on acceptance, in writing this blog post. You can listen to this great saint's lectures on the web site (www.vedantavidyarthisangha.org).

Whether you accept God or not is immaterial. The life's truths narrated here hold good for you. Start your practice of acceptance meditation and see your problems evaporating in your meditation. If you accept your creator’s presence, it is all the more beneficial.

May your life be filled with courage, peace and joy.

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SELF ACCEPTANCE - THEFIRST STEP FOR SUCCESS

SELF ACCEPTANCE

THE MANTRA FOR PEACE AND  PROGRESS

 

• "Who else will accept us, if we do not accept our own self?"

• Self acceptance is our journey towards our own completeness and our own fulfillment. 
• It is our recognition of our own true nature and being at complete peace with it.  

• What happens, if we do not recognize and accept our true nature?

• We begin to feel insufficient, shameful, fearful and  angry. 
• We can not love our own self. We also begin to feel that others also do not love us. 
• We will look at all others with some suspicion most of the time.
• Our SELF-NON-ACCEPTANCE makes us adopt unnatural facades. 

• Like superiority  or  inferiority complex; 
• Other self destructive habits like intoxicating drinks, drugs, excessive or unnatural sex, excessive sleep, excessive work, excessive eating,  lack of sleep, laziness, aversion to eating and so on. 

• These escape routes blunt our sensibilities.
• When we are in Self-Non-Acceptance mode, we become highly sensitive to each mistake of ours, small or big, and of mistakes of others.
• We can’t take the slightest criticism or suggestion easily.
• Our feelings of INSUFFICIENCY grow with time and assume huge, phantom like shape in our life. We see our insufficiency in every thing; and every where.
• We begin to feel, we are not good enough in this world; we are born to be losers; better not to befriend any one who looks like a winner.
• We begin to feel a sense of shame at each mistake and cannot take the same easily in life. 
• We feel there is some thing wrong with us. 
• We either reduce or stop talking to others around us.
• In the non-acceptance mode, we either try to avoid the scene or if forced into it, start fighting with others or somehow find a way to conform at least externally to the accepted behavior. Yet, internally, we are not at peace with the situation. We suppress our naturalness out of shame. 
• This feeling of insufficiency, the denial mode and the social withdrawal may lead us into depression or into violence. We feel a sense of hopelessness or haplessness or some times, a constant one-up-man-ship which is a facade for internal insufficiency.
• The SELF-NON-ACCEPTING PERSON  poses, and shouts vociferously - that he is right in his "ISM" or ideology - be it, economic, religious, scientific or whatever. Every such person poses as if he is right and others are wrong – even while deep within, he is aware that he is himself insufficient and has no answers to many crucial questions in his "ISM" and others are finding it out.
• Without  Self Acceptance, however much we become better, we never feel good enough. We feel better than some but worse than many. Our habits make us feel worse, rather than comforting us in any way. Many times, the compulsiveness of our habits frustrates us.
• We feel rejected by other people. In fact, it is we who are moving away from them.This feeling of rejection and pain hurts us badly. 

• How do we get away from all this? 

  

• Just forgive our self and accept whatever we are. 
• Let us accept our self and also others – as we are and as they are, without any pre-conditions, without any value judgments. If we are insufficient in some ways, so are they, in some ways.
• Accepting our self – gives us a huge freedom – from our sense of shame,guilt, anger, insufficiency,love-less-ness,rejection by others, loneliness and so on. 

• Self acceptance is, in other words, developing sincere, unconditional love for our self.

• Love your self as you are. Love your parents, your spouse, your children, your neighbours and your friends and colleagues unconditionally. Love with full awareness of all of their short comings and your shortcomings. Make your self and make them comfortable. 
• Forgive them their shortcomings. Forgive your self your shortcomings.
• Strive to develop deeper friendships with others, communicate freely with them, be aware of their sensibilities and respect them. 

• Do not tread on their weak spots. Nor, on yours!

• Make a habit of looking at your successes and building on them.
• Approach yourself as a successful person, capable of some successes at least. Forgive all of your past mistakes, failings, indiscretions and sins.Let them not take centre stage in your life any more.
• Remember the more beautiful moments of your life, your successful moments, your moments of love and happiness. Talk of them with any one who listens with a little empathy. Live all those beautiful moments of your life again and again. This is, in fact, the best use of our PAST.
• Write a Diary or a Journal of all that you are doing right, all that you did right in the past and all that you want to do right in the immediate future. Read it again and again to convince your self that you are a successful person and not a failure in life.
• It is a matter of time that your past successes inspire you into much greater successes in the present. 
• Attempt small successes which you know you can achieve. Build Your Self Confidence. In every one of your attempts, look at the ELEMENT OF SUCCESS, even if you have not achieved the goal you have set out for. 
• Let us say, you jumped only 4 feet and not 6 feet, as planned by you. Is it a success or a failure? Look at the 4 feet of success more and determine to exceed it in time.Yes, it is a success. Next time, it will be five and then six. But, each point is a success and not a failure.

  

• No one jumps ten feet in first attempt. The one who succeeds is always the one who tries till he succeeds.

• Do things,which you like. Try to get a job or profession  of your liking. Else, find what you can like in your job and excel in that - even while improving your efficiency on other parts of the job. 
• Life consists in liking the things that we are given and then, trying for better things. You can't afford to dislike any thing or any one that LIFE GIVES YOU. 
• ACCEPT WHAT LIFE GIVES YOU.
• There is one GOLDEN RULE that makes you happy instantly.

• Help some one in need. Don't wait till you are asked. 

• Go out and help some one in dire need. Make some one in need happy.
• How does that help? It brings some happiness to the other person. More important, it brings you immense happiness and self confidence.
• In time, you will have friends, love, peace, respect, confidence and happiness. Whatever insufficiency you felt earlier will not bother you at all now.
• Your self confidence grows, with each event of help you bring about in your life.Your SELF ACCEPTANCE  grows. In time it would have grown phenomenally.
• You will find that you are a pleasant, affable, loving and lovable and happy person. Your physical health too would have improved a lot.
• Remember, like you, everybody wants from others - acceptance. recognition, understanding, love, empathy, patience, kindness, encouragement,and all other beautiful things of life. We all want these things. These valuable things are absolutely free!
• Do not remain a beggar for these essentials of life. So long that you beg for them, you may not get them, or get very little of them in your life.
• Become an emperor for them and start distributing them profusely to all those around you. realize you have them in you in abundance.
• And the emperor, that is YOU, gets them back from all those around you, several fold larger and better.
• Remember the most illustrious examples like Hellen Keller. With much more handicaps, they lived much more joyously than most of us. So, a Life of Joy is possible - with all of your handicaps and insufficiency.
• Decide NOW. Accept your self wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Accept others likewise. Get on to the path of success, Love and joy. 

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