RANDY PAUSCH = THE TIME MANAGEMENT EXPERT WITH A DIFFERENCE = (POST.2)

RANDY PAUSCH

THE TIME MANAGEMENT EXPERT

WITH A DIFFERENCE (POST.2)

 In Post.1,

(http://wiselivingideas.blogspot.com/2010/12/randy-pausch-time-management-expert.html )   

we saw how Randy lived his last few months of life so well and happily, and how he contributed to others during that time too. We also saw the basics of time management.

Let’s now see a few beautiful quotes of Randy Pausch : Randy’s thoughts are given in bold and italics. The rest is – my comments.

1.  

 ‘Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.’ Either you get what you want; or, you get good experience. The key issue here is – you do want some thing – which means you have a goal. Do you have or don’t you? Now, you must plan for achieving it. If you achieve, your planning is good. If you don’t, you plan has chinks. Find them… Plug them... Try again. In that order.

2.  ‘The  Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because, the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people.’ Goal achievement is an obstacle race. Some fall at the first obstacle. Others get up and go ahead. Some fall before the last obstacle too. Winning is going beyond the last obstacle. As you can see, it requires persistence. As Stephen covey says, it also requires sharpening of the saw. You must sharpen your existing skill set and acquire additional skills.

3.  ‘If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.’  Karma is interpreted both as action and as the result of action. Action is yours. It is you who decides what you do; how you lead your life. Result of your actions is however given to you by the forces of the universe. You are the GIVER or the DOER in respect of your ACTIONS. YOU are the RECEIVER in respect of the RESULTS. Be very clear that RESULTS  are not decided by you but by the Universal Laws or the Universal forces, as the Karma theory calls them. But, the results, as appropriate to your actions – will come to you, without an iota of doubt. If they are not what you expected, your expectation is wrong, not the result. If we get a cancer or cold, the simple fact is, we do not (yet) understand the universal laws governing them and we are not abiding by them. The Karma theory is never wrong; we are.

4.  ‘When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.’ Romantic people who are interested in you may not know what to say, but they do express their love in their actions. Romance is more emotion and less  intelligence. Actions speak louder than words in love and romance. Don’t we know that?  We do. After some time, if actions stop, words may become a substitute for them. Words may supplement but should not substitute romantic actions. Beware of that. It is time to replenish the love and the romance.

5.  Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other. Gratitude, like love, requires expression. Express gratitude freely. Wherever possible, do some thing in return; and do it unexpectedly. More important, do something good to others; things for which, you feel gratitude, when you are the receiver.

6.  ‘Look, I'm going to find a way to be happy, and I'd really love to be happy with you, but if I can't be happy with you, then I'll find a way to be happy without you.’  Your life – is the only thing given to you; and it is given to you to live well; to love well; and to be happy. Find a way to be happy. Always.

7.  ‘A lot of people want a shortcut. I find the best shortcut is the long way, which is basically two words: work hard.’ There are no short cuts. The tree takes its time to grow. You take your time to grow. Every thing takes its time. But, the short cut is – the tree can die before it grows. You can, too. Short cuts are therefore unsatisfactory answers.

8.  ‘The questions are always more important than the answers.’ The questions are – what are you goals; Your priority things; and, how to achieve them. Unless you ask the right questions, there is no way, you can lay the best path for your life. Questions are more important.

9.  ‘It's not how hard you hit. It's how hard you get hit...and keep moving forward.’ You do get hit; don’t you? It’s life. Get up and move on.

10.              ‘When we're connected to others, we become better people.’ You rarely understand yourself, unless you try to understand others around you. They are your mirror. They reflect you most of the time. You learn to live, by interaction with them.

11.              ‘No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse.’ And, we do, by our omissions and commissions. Ignore the good man or the bad man, the world becomes worse. Ignore the good things or the bad things in you, you become worse.

12.              ‘When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody's bothering to tell you anymore, that's a bad place to be. You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better.’ Invite criticism. You are erring. All the time. To err, is human. Where are you erring, is the question. You may never know, unless you ask people to tell you.

13.              ‘A good apology is like antibiotic, a bad apology is like rubbing salt in the wound.’  When did you apologize last? Don’t remember? That’s bad apology; May be, several apologies are Overdue by now.

14.              ‘You can always change your plan, but only if you have one.’  It’s now a cliché. But, it is a fact that, even now, over ninety percent of people don’t have a plan. Are you one among the Ninety odd percent?

15.              ‘One thing that makes it possible to be an optimist is if you have a contingency plan for when all hell breaks loose.’ This is plan B. Most people don’t have plan A. They are over Ninety odd percent.  Of the balance 10 percent or less, most people don’t have Plan B. Plan B must be as good as Plan A. It’s good sermon right now. But, if people come to have a plan A, it is easier to teach them to have Plan B.

16.              ‘I’ve never understood pity and self-pity as an emotion. We have a finite amount of time. Whether short or long, it doesn’t matter. Life is to be lived.’ In Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna says almost derisively that the person who is going to die tomorrow is weeping profusely for the fellow who is dying today. All of us are going. No one is staying back. The final reason for going may be different for each person. But go, we must and we  all will. So, why pity or self pity? Life has to be lived. Lived well.

17.              ‘We've placed a lot of emphasis in this country on the idea of people's rights. That's how it should be, but it makes no sense to talk about rights without also talking about responsibilities.’ In India too, we have followed the same example as in USA. The results, in my opinion, are not good at all. More and more people are infringing others’ rights now than ever before. Not many think of others’ rights. There are very few people who are conscious of their responsibilities. The Child’s rights are, by direct correlation, the parents’ responsibilities. The parents are becoming oblivious to their responsibilities towards their own children. Who will then implement the child’s rights? My rights are your responsibilities and your rights are my responsibilities. There is a direct correlation between rights and responsibilities. No Nation can afford to talk of rights only and not talk of responsibilities. Between Nations too, it is the same thing. We are where we are – because we are not talking of our responsibilities.

18.              ‘There's a lot of talk these days about giving children self-esteem. It's not something you can give; it's something they have to build. Coach Graham worked in a no-coddling zone. Self-esteem? He knew there was really only one way to teach kids how to develop it: You give them something they can't do, they work hard until they find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process.’   Yes. Give them tasks. Give them progressively tougher tasks. Make them succeed on their own. You can’t make their life too easy and yet, make them competent. Children can learn. Do not underestimate them because of their parents’ background or any other reason. In India, governments want to abolish exams. May be, some other countries also have some such plans. It’s not at all the right thing to do. Give Children progressively tougher tasks, in which they can succeed with progressively more effort. If they don’t  succeed in any task, no matter. Give them a few days more. They will. But, abolishing exams, abolishing tough tasks for them, and similar measures makes them dull and unprepared for life.

19.              ‘The person who failed often knows how to avoid future failures.’ Strive often..fail often.. succeed often.. these three come one after another.. You must strive often… to fail often. You must fail often.. to succeed often.. If you did not fail at all, it implies, you did not strive at all.. and you did not succeed at all too..To learn walking, the child must get up and fall. It doesn’t matter if it falls a few times. It is a matter of great concern if the child doesn’t get up and try to walk, in the fear of falling. No child is ashamed to fall. Neither should you. This precept is in fact a continuation of the previous one. Allow the children to take upon them all sorts of tasks. All sorts of exams. Do not shame them, if they fail. Encourage them. Give them the same task again, or, one they can succeed in. Build them. Do not weaken them.

20.              ‘There are more ways than one to measure profits and losses.’ Suppose, you spent $1,00,000/- and your spouse’s / Children’s health became much better thereby – how do you measure your profits and losses? Have you lost $1,00,000 or gained your spouse’s / children’s health? Which one will be on your mind more often? Suppose, it is your own health that is in question – then how will you view it?

21.             ‘It's not helpful if we spend every day dreading tomorrow, Jai.’ It was Randy and his wife Jai. If you feel you have very less of life left, people around may feel this way. It happens. Suppose you are going away to a far off country for a long time, then also, people who love you may feel the same way. In India, yoga is developed as the science which strives to unite you with your essential you, the deathless you. There is no death for you. There is no going anywhere. Lord Krishna says very clearly, that death is as simple as taking off your dirty, worn out clothes and putting on new ones. There is no need to dread death at all. He says, the difference between you and him is – he knows all his past and you and I don’t. Death is a wall you don’t see beyond. You are not allowed. But, there is nothing very fearsome the other side. If you live this side of your life well, the other side becomes more beautiful than life here. It is Karma theory and is very simple and absolutely scientific.

22.              ‘I don't believe in the no-win scenario.’ Ha, there is no no-win scenarios any where. Either you win. Or, some one wins. You also either win or gain experience. Either way, it is still a win for you. If you are a parent teaching your child, you lose, to make the child win and thereby, you also win. Look for the positive. You will find it. Now, this formula is not exclusive. It works in combination with all the rest that we have seen earlier. Some one asked a lazy man sleeping under a tree – why don’t you do some work and progress in life? The lazy man asked, what will I do, after doing some work and progressing in life. Then you can marry, have children? …Yeah, what will I do then?... Your children will grow and progress in life… Yeah, what will I do then?.. then, you can relax and enjoy your life…. But, that’s what I am doing already.. why should I work, progress, marry, have children…

Well. Life has many angles. Life can be very Beautiful. Our today makes our tomorrow more beautiful. Our yesterday has made today, the way, it is. Randy lived a full life; the number of years are immaterial. Thank you, Randy. For all these beautiful thoughts.

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RANDY PAUSCH = THE TIME MANAGEMENT EXPERT WITH A DIFFERENCE (POST.1)

RANDY PAUSCH

THE TIME MANAGEMENT EXPERT

WITH A DIFFERENCE (POST.1)

RANDY PAUSCH was born on October 23, 1960 in the United States and died on July 25, 2008.

He was a Professor of Computer Science, Human-Computer Interaction, and Design at Carnegie Mellon University till his demise.

"The Last Lecture" speech of Randy Pausch delivered on September 18, 2007 at Carnegie Mellon University is very popular as an inspirational lecture.

Prior to this ‘LAST LECTURE’, Pausch was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in August 2006. In this and a few other of his talks, Randy Pausch first talks of the fast progression of his disease and the time limits given to him by the Doctors.

Pausch, however, decided that he was going to have fun till his last and this determination reflects well in all his lectures. His steely determination to make the most, and the best, of his remaining life probably extended his life by a number of months beyond what the Doctors gave him.

He pursued a very aggressive cancer treatment. But, On July 24, 2008, on behalf of Pausch, his friend posted a message on Pausch's webpage indicating cancer progression beyond what was expected from recent PET scans and Pausch becoming more sick than ever. On July 25, 2008, Diane Sawyer announced on Good Morning America that Pausch had died earlier that morning.

We can see and listen to his ‘LAST LECTURE’ at :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

His earlier lecture on TIME MANAGEMENT is also available at :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTugjssqOT0

There are no earth-shaking ideas in Randy’s Last Lecture or his Time Management Lecture. But, coming from Randy, they have a telling effect on the audience. In fact, time management lectures are all like that. There are never any earth shaking ideas. But, each expert puts it into a shape that appeals. Stephen Covey does it well. Many others do it well. Randy also does it well.

Time Management is really, too very simple, if you avoid procrastination. These are the obvious steps in time management:

(i)                        Identify the “important” things / tasks in your life. Concentrate more time on them every day. These are your goals; your aspirations; the tasks that  enhance your life and make your life worth living, in your own eyes and probably  in the eyes of others who matter to you. If you don’t have any such ‘important’ things right now, it is time you find them. This is the most important step in your life right now. I can’t really exaggerate beyond that. Time management comes only after that. Remember, these important things may not look very urgent. But, ask Randy, You don’t have TOO MUCH TIME to do them. No one has. Therefore, you must do them daily. There is no day in life when you don’t have important things to do.

(ii)             As a second step, identify the important things which have also become urgent for one reason or other. Finish them up quickly. These are undoubtedly the first things to be done by you. But then, we stated earlier that the important, seemingly non-urgent things are very important and are the first priority in life. The reason is, you must never allow important things to become urgent. Do them much before that. You must concentrate on these two first steps.

(iii)             Then, there are the phantoms in life. These are the seemingly urgent, non-important things. Do not allow them to interfere much with the important things, urgent or non-urgent, mentioned in steps i and ii above. You can’t totally ignore them any way; they press into your life from all corners; your friends, business associates; family members; they want to have a piece of your life. So, you can’t ignore these totally, without spoiling relationships, health etc. So, put them in their perspective and give them the minimum time required. Will you send your New Year Greeting messages or not? Will you greet the people or not? You must. But, after Jan,1^st, they become inconsequential. Remember that. But, if you don’t do them, they have consequences. Remember that too. Allot them the minimum time required.

(iv)             The last in the list are : non-urgent, non-important things. Give them the least possible time. There is of course the danger of certain important things getting classified  under this category. A certain amount of relaxation and recreation is a MUST, each day. It is IMPORTANT. But, if there are urgent things pressing on you, you may not relax. It happens to you, me and others at  times. But, there is also the danger of unimportant things looking like important things. Excessive TV viewing also gets classified as relaxation some times. It is not.  It is not relaxation at all.

These are the Basics; these are the essentials. Rest is nitty gritty. Rest is – mostly individualistic.

What is ‘important’  in your life – is your classification. What is ‘urgent’ is your classification. With three months to go – Randy was talking of his last lecture and time management and enjoying it. With others, it may be different.

Listen to these two lectures. They are GOOD. Listen to Stephen Covey also. Then go ahead and plan your life. Don’t merely stop with the listening.

Now, let’s  see a bit of what Randy says – he deserves that; we deserve that too.

Take for instance, what he says on time available to you and how you are spending it : “The key question to keep asking is, are you spending your time on the right things? Because time is all you have. … and you may find one day that you have less than you think.”

Time is all that you have… time is all that you have…time is all that you have…  Randy is right in that. But, you don’t have to be  paranoid about it. All that you need to understand is, time is a very precious asset. It is THE Precious asset. All other things are time-bound. You included.

It’s a realization. Much like that of the Buddha. Nothing else really matters as much as time. Time really is all that you have. Either you use it. Or, you lose it. Your life is nothing but time spent. You may have 6 months, or 6 years, or just, 6 minutes. You never know. It doesn’t matter also if you don’t know. What matters is – how you are spending this moment. This moment is – all that matters.

Now, it is a fact that many of us fix up some short term goals, medium term goals, long term goals and so on. They are necessary. You have this moment. But, you may well have 6 or 60 years too. So, you fix up goals for the eternity. And, go on with life as if you are there for eternity. In India, the age-old wisdom is that be joyous as if this moment is the only moment you have. Learn and do – as if you have an eternity to live.

Doing things in the right way and doing the right things are really not alternatives to each other. Our Goals are the right things. We must achieve them the right way. We can’t be ignoring either the right things or the right way. That’s what Randy says. That’s what Covey says. That’s what every expert says.

In the next post, we will see a few more of Randy’s quotable quotes; Quite a beautiful lot they are. Don’t miss out on them.
Post.2 URL :

http://wiselivingideas.blogspot.com/2010/12/randy-pausch-time-management-expert_29.html

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TIME MANAGEMENT vs LIFE MANAGEMENT = FIXATION OF GOALS = =EASTERN KNOWLEDGE AMPLIFIED = JNANA SAKTHI (POWER OF KNOWLEDGE) = SANKALPA SAKTHI (POWER OF DECISION) = KRIYA SAKTHI (POWER OF ACTION) = POST 2

NEW INSIGHTS – WISDOM FROM THE EAST

TIME / LIFE MANAGEMENT

POST 2

PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE

As we have seen in post.1, We can’t change the Past by any means. It is a static Picture.

Your first requirement therefore is – simple, whole hearted, total acceptance of your past, as it stands. Do not try to see your past in any other way than what it actually is.

This is the perennial human problem. Many individuals have huge difficulty in accepting their past. Even at nation’s level, Most nations attempt to write and re-write history suitable to their CURRENT NEEDS. Such non-acceptance of the past is meaningless, untruthful, harmful, and destructionist in nature.

Therefore, Accept your past, all of it,  in complete humility and honesty.

Accept your birth, your parents, your nation, your body Characteristics, your educational and other skill sets, and every thing that you are. Accept all of that. Relieve yourself from all superiority and Inferiority complexes. Reside in Absolute Truth.

Likewise, accept all facts about people around you; know them and be aware of them. In short – accept all that is PAST. 

We can easily define past with the following equation.

PAST  =  FACT

There is no other satisfactory, all inclusive definition of either fact or past.

We can draw corollaries from this definition.

(i)                ALL PAST = ALL FACT.

(ii)              Neither present nor future is, as yet, a fact. Fact can only be PAST and vice versa. 

With some pondering, I hope, readers will see the logic clearly. There is nothing beyond simple logic in all this.

People and nations who do not accept their PAST, invariably hallucinate. There will be no reality in their life. Whether they know it or understand it is immaterial. Some one can hallucinate all their life.

Remember the story of the erstwhile USSR and remember how its hallucinating past fell apart into dismal ruins when its own FACTS  caught up with it.

In Individual’s life also, when invariably, our hallucinations fall apart, reality catches up with us leading to unpleasant results.

The next question, we dealt with in Post.1 was – how do we use our FACTUAL PAST (and not our Hallucinating Past)  to mould our present and future.

We saw how to improve marital relations by bringing in PAST, PLEASANT incidents forcefully in to life and re-living them in the present. This is one great use of the Past. We will see more of it in future Posts.

In this context, we introduced a concept called  “Pratipaksha Bhavana”  that was advocated by the great sage, Patanjali in his Yoga sutras (Sadhana Padham –Vs.33).

Pratipaksha Bhavana, in a nut shell, means that – to neutralize a bad situation, bad emotion, or bad environment, we need to introduce its opposite emotion in and around us very strongly, with the support of a strong, supportive past wherever possible. It is a reasonably EASY, ETHICAL and PRACTICAL concept, as, all that is needed is, enhancing our own DETERMINATION to come out of the bad situation, emotion or environment  that we are in.

As we know – nobody can take away our absolute right to create our own feelings, emotions and determination inside our mind; that is, we have the sole and absolute right to create our internal world the way we want it.

Nobody can take away that right from YOU. But, YOU can take away your own right. In fact, it is you who periodically takes away your right to create your internal world in accordance with your own wishes –  and the culprit is your own fears, suspicions, lack of faith and feelings of insufficiency. Give up these doubts and negative emotions and generate your internal world of positivity and joy confidently.

Start this process of “Pratipaksha Bhavana”; see how the negativity around you evaporates gradually; See how the people and situations around you change towards the positive very quickly. In modern terminology, “the Law of Attraction” is in operation here.

What you strongly desire, SELFLESSLY, is supported by all the universal powers around you and they bless your efforts. Many positive things happen because of this – and your efforts will seem to move you towards your goal almost without your effort. Some times you may find the goal itself moving towards you and meeting you half way!

Many types of Meditations are designed to induce such positive changes in and around you.

“The power of Positive thinking” is also the creation of a strong emotion coupled with intense thinking on  achievement of your goals.

This method out lined in Post.1 works in many circumstances and not merely in marital relationships. It can work wonderfully even in international diplomacy. In introducing the method, we endeavoured to introduce positive thinking not only within us, but also in OTHERS around us - by subtle transfer of our own positive thinking to them. We are thereby creating a Positive atmosphere all around us. Who all will respond to this technique? Almost every one. Some will take less time. Some will take more time.

The only absolute, first requirements is – the first person to change must be YOU!!

As Mahatma Gandhi said - You must be the change you want to see in the world.

If you love your spouse totally, you can make him / her love you. Don’t try to see their pimples. Don’t try to see their scars. Try to see all things noble in them. Be willing and enthusiastic to see all those things which are positive and noble in them. This is the trick. This is the requirement. Their scars will disappear. Their pimples will disappear. They will sparkle as human beings. You are the catalyst. True. But, you are not changing them. They are changing themselves.

We talked about the spouse – because, most of the problems in today’s world is between the spouses. If the home is OK, the world will be Ok too. The technique works faster at home, because both spouses have a stake in each other, and will recognize the mutual benefits as they are accruing to each and will respond more vigorously and more positively, as time progresses.

There is a word of caution, though. Both spouses have been going through the wrong route for years or perhaps decades and some of the feelings of distrust and negativity may have been built up all these years. Therefore you need some time to bring back the positivity in you and in your spouse. In you, it might need about 21 days. In your spouse, you might need 45 to 48 days – which is recognized in India as one period of change. It is called Mandala.

Mandala is a period in which any permanent change can be induced in any normal Individual. If you remain positive for 45-to 48 days, you can stay that way for the rest of your life. But, if you so choose, you can also revert back to your old bad habits and ways – that is , if you so want. This Negativity can be induced in a split second. Bad habits take no time at all. But, any good habit takes a Mandala period to get ingrained. You can thereafter, very easily continue your good habit.

Remember; this change in you and around you, is always accomplished in the present – but with immense help from the past. As you can see- what you want to see in the past – matters a lot in changing people around you and YOU.

This is the beneficial use of the Past for you. We also said that the Knowledge, (good) habits, skills, relationships etc acquired by you in the Past are valuable, and you must renew them, enhance them and use them to enhance you life in the present and the future. We will now move to the PRESENT.

PRESENT

Present is a result, mostly, of the influence of past. We can reduce PRESENT also to a simple equation.

PRESENT = RESULT OF THE CUMULATIVE INFLUENCE OF (YOUR OWN PAST +   ALL THE ENVIRONMENTAL FORCES + All HUMAN FORCES ) ACTING ON YOU AT PRESENT)

Present is the result of all the factors and  forces mentioned in the equation.

These factors are :

1.     Result of the cumulative influence of your own Past life.

2.     Cumulative result of all Environmental Forces on your Life

3.     Cumulative result of all Human forces acting on your life.

All these factors are acting on your life at all moments of your life. You only need to recognize them properly.

What are the characteristics of the PRESENT.

1.     PRESENT IS,  Just this one Moment.

2.     You are always in the PRESENT; in this one moment.

3.     You are absolutely and totally POWERLESS to move either into past or into future.

4.     All the 3 forces mentioned earlier are simultaneously acting on YOU in the present.

5.     YOU also can and do ACT but only in the Present. All forces, including you, in the Universe act, and can act, only in the present.

6.     You can choose your action, but, cannot refrain from or abstain from ACTION totally.

7.     What you do – is called ACTION, or Karma in the Indian tradition.

8.     What all others and the universal forces do – to you, is called RESULTS, or, Karma phalam, that which you receive, in return for your actions.

9.     The correlation between ACTION and RESULTS  is the grand theory of Karma and Karma Yoga.

10.                        ACTION and RESULTS are continuously occurring in the present.

The theory of Karma and Karma Yoga is a great contribution to humanity from Lord Krishna, who had brought it at one place in chapter.3 of his Bhagavad Gita. But, the theory is largely misunderstood.

Until this theory is properly understood and its scientific basis is digested, people will always be committing the same mistakes again and again and live in a world of unreality and unhappiness.

This is being dealt with in detail in my other Blog – www.wisespiritualideas.blogspot.com. Interested readers may kindly see that blog also for understanding several features of the Theory of Action.

In this Blog, we will briefly examine some relevant features of the same.

First, we will deal with the Basic tenets of the Science of ACTION.

YOU, and none other than YOU have the Full Freedom, responsibility and right for ALL OF  YOUR ACTIONS.

You are the one to choose all of your actions. But, you have no choice to abstain from all actions.

Gita says – ‘Yogah Karmasu Kausalam’, which means, yoga is the performance of all of your actions with  excellence and Great skill.

When you perform your action with excellence and great skill, your action rises above mediocrity and becomes Yoga. Else, it is mere Karma and not Karma Yoga.

You are given three powers that enable you to perform your ACTIONS. These are :

1.     Jnana Sakthi (The Power of Knowledge)

2.   Sankalpa Sakthi or Iccha Sakthi (The power of will)

3.   Kriya Sakthi (The power of Action)

Jnana Sakthi  is the Power of Knowledge that must always swing into action first. Jnana Sakthi must decide your goals for the present and the future. Jnana Sakthi is your cumulative achievement from the totality of your Past. But, if your goals are selfless, if they are beneficial to  others and not harmful to any one, then, other universal powers also will bless you with intuitive knowledge you never had earlier, which may prompt you into actions you never imagined earlier. The Law of attraction works precisely in this way. Your Jnana sakthi is enhanced exponentially, when you decide to be of help to all those around you.

SANKALPA SAKTHI (or) ICCHA SAKTHI :This is the power of Decision but it also  includes the power of imagination.  In Effect, it implies the fixation of your Goals. Sankalpa Sakthi exhorts you to put all of your power behind your goals. There is a significant difference between Iccha and Sankalpa. Iccha is  simple desire or wish. It translates in to Sankalpa, when you put your whole power of decision behind it. Once the Iccha  becomes a Sankalpa, your body, mind, emotions will all come together for its achievement. All desires do not translate into decisions. But once they become Decisions, your Sankalpa Sakthi will drive you towards achievement of the same with great energy. The Ancient Vedas and Upanishads eulogize the power of Sankalpa in achievement of any objective. They say that – the almighty created the whole Universe with his power of Sankalpa from out of nothing. It also says that, at the time of PRALAYA,  the whole universe dissolves back into the same nothing because of the same Sankalpa Sakthi. Human being is also endowed with the Power of Sankalpa. Sankalpa also implies the power of concentration. We will see more of it in future Posts.

KRIYA SAKTHI : This is the Power of Action. We are endowed wit the five senses, five organs of action, the mind and the emotions that enable us perform our actions. As we have said earlier, if your Sankalpa is beneficial to others, the universal powers will add their own power of action to yours, in proportion to the Strength and Purity of your Sankalpa. Thus, ACTION  proceeds out of Jnana Sakthi, Sankalpa Sakthi and Kriya Sakthi, in that order. Action always happens in the PREESENT. Hence, Time Management or Life Management always happens in the present. One, two or all the three powers of you are in action at all times.

We will see how – in the next Post.

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TIME MANAGEMENT vs LIFE MANAGEMENT = OF WHAT USE IS OUR PAST? = MARITAL (&OTHER) RELATIONSHIPS = EASY WAY TO ENHANCE, RENEW AND REPAIR = POST 1

NEW INSIGHTS – WISDOM FROM THE EAST

TIME / LIFE MANAGEMENT

POST 1

PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE

INTRODUCTION

From times immemorial, successful people always considered TIME as the most invaluable asset.

All facets and types of Management are, in the ultimate analysis, Time Management only. The person who manages his time most effectively and productively emerges as winner in his life.

Time is one asset which cannot be stored, retrieved or re-used. You can’t buy a little more of it by any ORDINARY MEANS known to us.

You can’t beg, borrow or steal time from any one nor can you transfer it to any one. A finite amount of time is given to you as your LIFE. It is the most finite asset of all – for any Individual.   Either you use it, or, you lose it. There is not a third way.

It is therefore the most intangible and the most finite asset of all. Look around and search for time, your most invaluable asset! You won’t see it or experience it in any way with your five senses or your mind.

Yet, you measure time by the life you have spent. You measure time by the changes occurring all over the universe; by the change in the position of Sun, Moon and the stars vis-a-vis the earth; or the earth’s position vis–a-vis the Sun, Moon and the stars. Measured in any manner, you find that your life, and my life, are strictly finite ASSETS! You will find that, Life, and not time, is the Asset for us. Life is everywhere. Time is nowhere. It is Life Management and not Time Management that we are talking of, all the time.

We don’t even really know for certain – whether any thing called TIME  exists and whether it is static or dynamic! But, Our Life is dynamic, ever changing, ever available to us for what we want to do with it – and therefore, our greatest asset. Yet, for the sake of convenience, for the sake of all the science and art that we have built up in the name of Time Management, we will continue to use the term, TIME, in this blog post. I have no quarrel with the science and art of time management. My intention is just to draw the readers’ attention to the fact that TIME, really means the TIME available to YOU, which, in other words, means YOUR LIFE.

Remember the times you were a child. If you were happy, you were. If you were not, you were not. You can’t  get back that child-like happiness, whatever you may do now. But, then, use of your time – when you were a child, depended a lot on your parents and others around you. Likewise, the use of time, of the children around you now, depends a lot on you. It’s not merely your Children. I would say,  you have a responsibility for all children around you. I am drawing your attention to another fact of life; the best use of your time depends not only on you but on all those around you. The best use of others’ time depends similarly on you too.

Remember the youth. If you had used it well or ill, it stands in your memory as such and you cannot retrieve it any way and repair it. This is another fact about time (or life). You always have a past; it is growing bigger every moment;  and it is a static frame. Nothing can be done to change it. In contrast, your life being finite, your future is becoming smaller and smaller every moment. The present, well, the present is always with you; every moment it is with you. Your future invariably comes nearer and nearer ,becomes your present and then, recedes into your past.

If you had used your Childhood and your youth and your entire past well, you are successful as an adult. Else, you are unsuccessful. Your present happiness, security and capabilities depend a lot on your past and how you managed it – when it was with you.

If you use your present life well, you can  come out reasonably successful in some facets of life, from now onwards – though not in some others, which the childhood and youth have taken away with them. You can’t get back a single moment from your past, or a single particle of dust from that moment and change it in any way. This is important to remember.

You can’t grow one inch taller – once you are past your teens. You can’t change your colour; you can’t change many things associated with your physical and mental capabilities.

You can’t change your absolute capabilities in intelligence etc after the age of five or so – though you can continue to add static informations to your stored memory, your brain, and use its synaptic connections to interpret them and manipulate them in many ways. Here again, we are drawing our attention to another fact of life. You can’t change many facets of life. They are given; they are the data; they are your assets  or your liabilities, whichever way you look at them, the ones given to you to work your life with.

Your parents, the time and place of your birth, your brothers and sisters, the planetary positions at the time of your birth and many, many other things in your life, including a lot of your genetic make-up are all fixed forever and remain unchangeable.

What do people do with this unchangeable past? It is interesting to see and understand this. It is also very important to see and understand this, if you want to make your remaining life successful.

i.                    Some one says - my grand father’s grand father was Alexander the great, or Napoleon the great, or belonged to an illustrious noble family, or belonged to a family of poets, or to a family of the richest persons of his time and so on – but, here I am, I am not any of these things, and not allowed to be any of these things. Some of us put on such colourful masks, try to look upwards at the sky as if we belonged up there and look down on others ; put on all sorts of absolutely foolish, meaningless, purposeless, personality masks; boost our ego and evoke equally foolish and purposeless  envy, anger and hatred of all those around us; This goes by names such as ego, superiority complex, personality mask and so on. The reality today, of you – is far, far different from this great lineage.  The surreal scenario you build around yourself this way – builds a huge insecurity in and around you.

ii.                  There are yet others – who say – my grand father’s grand father was persecuted by your grand father’s grand father; and so, here I am, to avenge all those wrongs of your ancestors. I am stronger than  you and I will take on you. I am a lion; I am a tiger; I am a cheetah; I am the bravest of the brave; Cruelest of the cruelest; I am going to avenge all the wrongs  of all the past – forever; This is another script, fed into some people, to waste their life. A life of negative ego, of inferiority complex; of a darker personality mask. This is also an extraordinarily foolish, meaningless, purposeless surreal scenario people build around themselves – and build a huge insecurity in and around them.

iii.                Past, however unchangeable it is – has tremendous influence on our present and future life. This influence can be distinctly divided into two types. (1) The influence of past which has given us our present capabilities, skills, relationships and assets, which can enable us to enjoy our present and build our future; and (2) the influence of past which has given us either sweet or ugly memories, which we can either enjoy or suffer.

iv.               In other words – our past has given us two different things: (1) Useful and Usable capabilities, skills, relationships and assets; and (2) Sufferable and enjoyable memories; we must be able to clearly distinguish between these two. The former One creates our armour, our security and our tools, eminently beneficial for building our present and our  future. The latter one, except where the past memories are really enjoyable, creates our mask, which is RISKY and DANGEROUS for us, and for others around.

v.                 It is ironic that most of the History that we read in our schools and colleges – is, designed to create this dangerous mask and not the useful  armour and tools. There is need to mould the history  to make it truly beneficial for us.

vi.               So, how are we going to use our individual past. 

(a)  Foremost is the need to ensure that you do not lose Your capabilities, skills, relationships and assets that you inherited from the past. You must hold on to them and enhance them, so that they act as the spring board for your present and future successes. Many people tend to lose excellent skills that they had possessed or acquired in their childhood, just by long disuse. It may be fine arts like singing, painting etc. It may be extraordinary math, memory, or such other capabilities. It may be capabilities in yoga, martial arts or any other special capabilities. Once you acquired them, you must keep them for life and use them to  reach your future life goals. They are great skills worth having and worth improving.

(b) This need also includes your relationships, your friends, your associations etc. Childhood friendships are very sweet and pleasant and mostly unselfish. Friendships acquired in your youth also tend to stay with you – unless, you fail to renew them  periodically.

(c)  Let me give one example of how to preserve and cement your relationships in the present, with the help of the past. One example will do. And, you can draw inspiration from it and mould your other relationships, suitably modifying the example.

(d) The most intimate and important relationship is  that of wife and husband. How do you keep this relationship FOREVER PLEASANT and cement it and strengthen it from time to time? Human mind acts in peculiar ways in such relationships. Love in the first fervor tends to wane very quickly later, when you pile up a few unsavoury incidents in your marital life. The smallest unsavoury incidents become phantoms leading even to the breakage of marriages.

(e)  Your past, anybody’s past, in such a marital relationship is both sweet and sour. There are bound to be many incidents which both wife and husband liked and enjoyed; and there are also bound to be incidents which are sour, in which the two quarreled, argued, which created gaps between them, created suspicions between them or are unpalatable in many ways. What do we do with all of them?

(f)   Every time, a new problem arises between them, many of the earlier sour incidents come back between them with full force, with even greater force than the original. The two start with a small argument over the present, probably minor, incident, but then both go back into the past, bring the past  sour incidents back to the present and start arguing over them again. After all, each needs supporting arguments for their view points. Ego takes over and neither will have control on the way the argument progresses and ends. The bad past has a strong tendency to haunt people in a relationship all through their lives. Do we need to allow this tendency in us? Not necessary at all. There is a good remedy.

(g)   You can do this experiment your self. It is similar to the technique suggested by Patanjali in his Yoga sutras. He calls it “Pratipakhsa bhavana”. To erase a bad feeling, bring in its opposite forcefully into life. This is the principle. To erase the bad past from cropping up again and again between you two, you must take the initiative of recalling  at least a few (say, ten) incidents from your past, which are agreeable, memorable and sweet and both of you like them when they happened. All marriages do start with such incidents. Take a Note Book, write down these incidents in vivid detail. Make it graphical, with picture-clarity, in your mind. Keep it secret from your spouse while this process is on. Go over them in your mind several times. Feel them. Think them. Live them in your mind a few times. It is not at all difficult for you. Try, one at a time. Try today. Once you are sure of what you have in your mind and heart, you can go to the next step below:

(h) Choose a good, reasonably pleasant occasion when both of you are together. This is the occasion for you. With spontaneity, very innocently, with reasonable casualness and naturalness, with reasonable emotional back up in your mind and tone, just remind your partner of one (just one) of the pleasant occasions, which both of you enjoyed and liked. Describe all the pleasant feeling that you felt on the original occasion. Describe it from your heart. Involve your partner as much as possible through occasional prompting to recall the occasion.

(i)    If your partner supplies a few details, with some differences from the ones you recalled; no matter; it is good; if you recall your partner’s dress colour as yellow; but your partner remembers it as sky blue, it doesn’t matter; go ahead to recall the occasion with gusto; with all the pleasant feeling you can; You enjoy it fully; With utmost certainty, you can say, your partner too will enjoy the same. Bring back the occasion with full force into your lives. Bring back the emotion. Bring back the love. Bring back the pleasantness, the happiness, the joy and every thing that you both felt. Make it natural. Feel it in your self. Can you do it? Yes. You can. Each of us can. If you don’t feel you can – it is small timidity; small shyness; These have been robbing both of you of a world of happiness for quite some time. These are your worst enemies. Come out of them; come out of your shell and make a start. You don’t have to be an expert orator or anything like that. Just make a start!

(j)    If these emotions had died down in you, years ago; and life is going  on, in a dry and dreary fashion; it is all the more reason, that you must shake off from them and do this experiment, with all seriousness. With all sincerity. You must re-start enjoying your life. You owe it to your partner too, that your partner starts enjoying his/her life. So, please do it. Celebrate the occasion again. Go out and enjoy.

(k)  Choose at least 10 occasions like this to recall, remember and enjoy once again – with reasonable spacing, of say a week (or even a fortnight or a month!!)  in between, and try your best to recreate the past pleasant scenarios. Just try. Somewhere down the line, you will find, you don’t need those past occasions any more. You are enjoying your lives a lot more now. You are finding new occasions of joy. And, most important of all, as you recreate the pleasant past, the unsavoury past is dying out, lock stock and barrel, in both of your minds. The unsavoury past has a tendency to get back to life again and again, unless you bury them all deep under the forceful, effective recall of your pleasant experiences.

(l)     Human mind is a peculiar invention. It is capable of filling itself with one emotion and not with two opposite emotions. Fill it with love. Your mind itself kills and buries the hate in it automatically. You don’t have to do anything at all to kill the Hate. Just fill your mind with love. That will do. Where love rules the heart, a pimple looks like a dimple. You won’t see any thing negative, anything ugly, anything unsavoury.  Its gone!!

(m)                       Let me tell you, if there is one good use of the past – it is this. Bury the Bad Past. Bring back to life the Good Past. More important however, are how we can deal with the present. We will deal with the PRESENT, in the next post.

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